Let's form "a Wicca"

Rumors of 'big war' spur police response

I don't mean to make fun of this, as I know threats of school violence must be taken seriously, but this is too weird:

...Detectives...determined a student had allegedly said a "big war" would occur. They also learned that a group of students had allegedly formed what they referred to as a "Wicca" and had carried out "certain ritualistic ceremonies that included self-mutilation of their arms and legs,"...

Yup. That's what we call it: all us Pagans are forming 'a Wicca'. As soon as our 'Wicca' is formed, the first thing we do is cut ourselves to ribbons. If nobody is cool enuf to cut me, I'll cut myself! The God and Goddess will be so proud of me! Now, here's the punch line:

...Sheriff's deputies and Farmerville police were equipped with a K-9 unit and searched the entire building, locating only a box-cutter in the possession of a female student...Buckley said the girl was arrested, and that incident was not related to the threats...

Not related! Every Pagan knows your trusty box-cutter is your most sacred ritual too! The initiated know them as 'athames'.

...A number of students were interviewed on Monday, and officials learned two students had expressed thoughts of suicide...they were referred to the Union Parish Coroner's Office and hospitalized pending a mental evaluation...

I'm sure electro-shock is on the agenda for them. If I was trapped in the school district of Union Parish, I'd also contemplate suicide.